The Staircase

Just before I left for Africa in Dec 2012 I was given a promotion at work – it was a miracle for me. You may remember me blogging about it.

When I got home from the mission trip every weekday for 3 1/2 years I climbed a staircase and took a right to my office. During my time there my boss encouraged me to go back to college for my Bachelor Degree so she could train me to take her place when she retired.

Happily, I did go back to school, I kept a 4.0 gpa and studied every night after work and all weekend until I fell and broke my wrist. While in this season of my life I would climb that staircase, pause, look to the left and think

“Someday this will all pay off and that will be my office, oh what a day that will be”

Then she died. Suddenly, without warning.

There I was making 12 bucks an hour with 33 employees to pay and 9 Board members asking me questions that I had no answers for. I did not mourn her death I stayed in a state of trauma and shock. I kept payroll done, taxes filed all bills paid but I was numb, vacant.

One morning a board member came to my office to make sure that I was going to re-enroll in school since my wrist was healed she told me not to let this tragedy keep me from my dreams!!

My dreams?

And there it happened- that push led me to the awakening that I did not want to turn left at the top of the stairs. I did not want to be the Executive Director of anything!

What was I doing? What did I want?

That was a sad time and a rough season but I made it through. They hired a wonderful replacement for my boss. On paper I did not qualify for the position and could not be considered, truthfully I did not want it. Also, by that time I did not want to be the assistant anymore either. I was overqualified for my spot and under qualified for top spot!

I gave my notice. Everyone understood, or at least they told me they did. I now go and fill in any gaps, run reports and help out the new assistant when she needs back up but she is doing very well.

Why do I type this unusually long blog?

Sometimes we can get so focused on what is in front of us, or what is expected of us that we lose sight of our purpose.

I was so comfortable in my box that I didn’t even know I was boxed in.

I’d forgotten to live, no joy, just breathing in and out. It took a disaster for me to wake up and realize there was more for my life than what I was doing.

And the sudden death of a most beloved friend to make me realize how precious my life truly is.

Here is a view of one of the staircases where I work now – I still climb stairs each day for work!!

But I am very happy in this season of my life!!